Guess it's that time of year again huh? A year ends, another one begins. Time for one to look back on the previous year; the ups and downs. Wondering if one had been changed by it, for better or worse. I thought I'd do a recap for the previous year, seeing as I've skipped the last one.
The year started off pretty alright. I was in my final semester and busy with my thesis. Towards the month before my thesis, I was surviving on three cups of coffee and less than six hours of sleep daily. Finally did manage to complete my thesis and got an A for it, so my efforts were not for naught.
And how could I forget that thing that cropped up with that stupid (former) friend? That got me all angry and confused the night before my final paper. How could someone be so selfish and silly to end a friendship just because things turned out differently than expected. Three years down the road, and again I got burned by an incident involving individuals who supposedly are people whom you're close to and can trust. Thankfully I did get an A for that paper, despite me getting quite distraught and barely able to grab any sleep that night.
With my stint at university done, it's time to step out into the real world. And honestly, it's a very daunting and terrifying step. Even when I was busy with my thesis, I heard tales of who & who securing for jobs etc. And like most people, I wasn't exactly sure what to do; afraid of taking a wrong step. Sure I had a rough idea what I want to do; but when you're actually at that point and then so many options suddenly opens up, hesitations and doubt begin creeping in.
Just to see how well I could do, I applied for HSBC's Management Development Programme. It was actually rather tough, but it was a good learning albeit nerve-wrecking experience. And when I was actually offered the position, it put me in dilemma. Steady job, good pay and a nice start up the corporate ladder vs the rocky, less-known path of academia and research. In the end, whether out of defiance of conformation, temporary lapse of judgment or plain stubbornness, I turned down the offer for a low-paying temp position as a research assistant in my uni.
Although I've done it twice, I don't think I'll ever get the hang of it - walking away from something and the people whom you practically spent most of your time with for the past few years. Leaving behind people whom I've shared good times with, helped each other with during trying times of lab reports and exams. Or people who I've gotten so close with that I'm at ease to be just be kick back and let loose myself, sarcasm and indignance and all. Individuals who I've spent so much time with through countless debate trainings, tourneys and goofing around; unwittingly a bond develops that is so much more than mere friendship. Through the stress, doubts, misunderstandings, and even tears that ensues; it opens up a side of someone that is rarely seen. And when it's all over and done with, inevitably a whole new level of understanding and trust develops that brings people even closer.
It's hard too, to realise that your time is up and you have to walk away from something you've dedicated so much of energy and time into. To now stand behind the line and watch others do it, only able to offer a small portion of moral support and advice to them. Perhaps out of dedication and love for the people and the sport, or an excuse for a reason to still be around with the people you like, or just a fleeting and futile attempt to capture some of the thrill long gone.
And so 2007 has been a year of big changes of some self-contemplation. Where a period of my life is over and a new phase begins. Can't say I've been looking forward to 2008; it just marks the beginning of another period of the Gregorian calendar. But I do hope that this path I started on would be one that offers what I seek at the end with few regrets.
Happy New Year folks. May you all be blessed with good cheer, love, luck and whatever else you're looking for. And may you all too that climate change is already happening and is here to stay.
